Saturday, March 29, 2008

Obama, Clinton in Lyme?

The desire to discover one's origins is present in nearly every human, so it should come as no surprise that I have actively sought information about Jane Austen, the woman who brought me to this world (before I was hijacked to a different world by Lady Catherine).

It was to my great pleasure, then, that I stumbled across a brilliant piece on Austen in Lyme. Most of you will associate the word Lyme with Lyme's disease, but the lovely waterfront town in England serves as an outstanding relaxation spot, a soothing distraction from the hustles and bustles of daily life. In fact, I would recommend it as a place for people ailing from Lyme's Disease, almost as a British Lourdes of sorts.

But all this talk of relaxation got me thinking about the stresses of the political trail. Would it not benefit my dear Hillary and Sir Barack Obama to find America's version of Lyme, to come to an accord and save the Democratic party of more fracture, perhaps over a spot of English tea?

Let's review some possibilities:

Palm Beach, Florida: At first, I was sure this would work, but then I remembered a key obstacle: Mr. Obama does not recognize Florida as a state.

Sleepy Bear Sand Dunes, Michigan: Another great spot, but alas, not one on Mr. Obama's lists either. No delegates, no tea party.

On Lake Michigan, Illinois: Mr. Obama does recognize his own state as far as I know, but so does the Reverend Wright.

Charleston, South Carolina: The perfect Lyme, except Mr. Clinton - who did more for civil rights than any prior President - would not be welcome because he's presumed a racist there.

Boston Harbor, Massachusetts: Perhaps not the best place for a tea party.

Long Island, New York: They prefer coffee.

Seattle, Washington: Too much rain.

Laguna Beach, California: Too much Tom Cruise.

Alas, it looks like the real Lyme is the only alternative. Perhaps they'll meet Anne Eliot there. Oh, and they should make sure to watch their ankles.

1 comment:

Michigan dem said...

Great joke about Michigan and Florida. No way we vote Obama here.